My daughter's Xmas dinner comment: Why do immigrants at this table have the most faith in America?

My daughter's unexpected comment at Christmas dinner made us think. We understood her seeming apathy and disillusionment, but upon deeper examination, it magnified our call to action.

Why immigrants have the most faith in America.

In 2019 and for 20+ years previous, our home was the Christmas dinner house. My wife has a large family in Houston. Some years, my family would also come in from Panama, New York, and San Diego. And, of course, the many friends we have in the area would be a mainstay. Suffice it to say, Christmas was a multiday production ending on Christmas day with a lot of eating, political debating, cultural debates, and fun. The blend of food and cultures made the food spread a gastronomic delight.

Not even the 2016 election could kill our holiday spirits. We saw it as an aberration. After all, the winner was no winner—the constitutional defect known as the Electoral College elected an incompetent criminal. Even many around the world saw it that way. America would fix itself, and it seemingly did in 2020.

But in 2019, we had a tragedy at our home during Christmas dinner. My mother-in-law had a severe stroke that ultimately took her life a week later. We lived through the inhumanity of our healthcare system firsthand. Exactly one month later, my daughter suffered her first stroke while in DC in her third year of Medical School. A few months after she stabilized, she had the Cyberknife procedure to attempt to fix the Arteriovenous Malformation (AVM). The procedure had several side effects that left her left side significantly compromised. My daughter would suffer one more devastating stroke that had her hospitalized for over a month. I had to move to DC to care for her for almost a year. She finished Medical School, which she refused to leave until she finished her coursework, and moved back to Houston. While she cannot practice medicine, she is creating the necessary fork in her life to be a productive citizen helping others.

I mentioned the above because my daughter has lived the failed healthcare system, which is suboptimal for her and likely killed her grandmother. She had lived in an education system where, as a teacher, she saw how it wronged our children before she went to medical school. She watched many of her fellow undergraduate, grad, and medical student friends suffer financial indignities because of a callous system. Following the rules is not good enough to succeed. The last election is not only proof, but it shows that we, as a country, are so psychologically damaged that we are complicit in supporting those who would harm us, take advantage of us, and lay the foundation to make the country dumb in the aggregate and in the path to indentured servitude for most.

It has been five years since we last hosted a Christmas dinner. This was the first one, and it was very small. After five years of health setbacks for my daughter and wife, it felt like magic. There were nine of us: four couples and my daughter. Five were immigrants (3 Panamanians and 2 Jamaicans), and four were born Americans.

We started talking about the election. We had different perspectives on why Kamala Harris lost. Those who follow my writings and media/radio shows know what I think. To be blunt, the delta that would have given her a win was mitigated by our continued carnal sexism and racism, even by women. Even with the Trump win and the many who should have voted otherwise, I pointed out that most people are good but are victims of their rearing. Many of the immigrants agreed with me to some degree. However, the skepticism among the born Americans was immediately evident.

Even though my daughter tends to be culturally between my roots and her mother’s, she was blunt. “Why is it that immigrants have so much faith in America?” It was as if, after Hillary Clinton, Kamala Harris’ loss was the last straw. Immediately after she commented about immigrants, she and half the folks walked out as Beyonce’s concert started.

My Jamaican friend was thoughtful. “You know, Egberto,” he said. “What she said was profound. What are your thoughts on that?”

My thoughts are consistent. My daughter is correct. Many of us who are immigrants have not felt the pain of our complete existence being marginalized. As privileged as my daughter is to have grown up in better times, she has told me her stories of marginalization in elementary, middle, high school, college, and more. I lived her reality in the United States but was not born into it. I did not have to deal with direct marginalization until I was an adult in the United States.

Immigrants came over here based on the propaganda of what America is. Where it does not live up to the hype, most of us believe we have the tools to adapt because existing in a foreign land is adapting in its own right.

I have never believed in accepting “NO” or giving up on anything. I told my immigrant friend we must understand the apathy that many feel. We must even understand the fear of those who voted inappropriately as just hurdles we must find a way to solve. We cannot change those who “want” to be sexists, racists, homophobes, and xenophobes. But we can work with those who share those attributes out of fear. My job is to move my daughter and others from apathy or fear to those who acknowledge their empowerment.

I gave up a profitable software company to pursue political activism through media and actions because change does not happen automatically. While it is difficult financially, and most of my closest friends think I am nuts, my daughter’s apathy is reason enough. I came to America believing I could do anything. When I came, it was still the reality even if deminishing. But now we are at an inflection point. Our manufactured ignorance is putting the future of our millennials, GenZs, and others at risk, a permanent indentured servitude for many. I intend to be a part of those working to move us forward. I have something to prove to my daughter, the apathetic, and those who are giving up. WE CAN MAKE A DIFFERENCE! WE MUST!

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